It’s been said that there are no two people with the same handwriting, same fingerprints or same personality. And if that is true, then the chances that you will find someone who will one hundred percent match all of your sexual desires are nil! Read: he will always be into something you’re not into, and vice versa! Not talking radical stuff like extreme pain, breath control, scat, etc., and assuming that the partner is hygienically ready, it’s a bit unfortunate when someone refuses to do the “basic sex things” for whatever unknown reason.

One experience from my previous life in New York comes to mind with an all-American soft-spoken type with a streak for bottoming. After watching him demonstrate a full array of sexual talents, from an hour-long crazy cock sucking using every technique in the book, to an hour-long of his insatiable ass enjoying my cock from every angle, still horny I went on to worship his body with my mouth. It was when I reached his nipples to tickle with my tongue and apply a soft pressure on with my teeth that he abruptly scolded me, almost jumping out of the bed telling me how “I can’t just start biting him all of a sudden!” 


Having reassured him that it was not my intention to rip his skin off but rather give him a nice tingling sensation, I was reluctantly allowed to continue. As he seemingly started to enjoy what I was doing, unfortunately his angry shouting kept resonating in my ears as I was steadily losing my hard-on for the whole thing. No attempts to resurrect my member were successful as our meeting came to an awkward end.

Sensitive in certain body parts, afraid of the unknown or having had a bad prior experience one must nonetheless not forget that most sexual things are not there to kill you but to please you. It is courteous to let your partner know that you are not crazy about something either by covering the body part in question with your hand or gently moving on to something else, or verbally suggesting something that makes you horny. Allowing your partner, otherwise, to give you the pleasure the way you normally don’t is not only tactful but also presents a good chance for yourself to explore little-known territories. It is, after all, exactly how and why you are now into what you are into!


June 1, 2016


As much as I love my idyllic Mokum, I have to admit to being a sucker for a spontaneous hopping on a train and ending up somewhere semi-exotic. One lazy weekend this past summer, it was Antwerp Centraal. After a scenic stroll through the medieval streets and a delicious lunch, I thought my Belgian mini-escape would not be complete without ...


It is remarkable how, since I moved to Amsterdam three years ago, I witnessed the closures of several gay places I had grown to like. Whether it’s poor business management or bad city policies, I will not sit and cry about it! Instead, I will take this opportunity to go and explore beyond our former gay Mecca. And I am glad that I do, because how else...


It was one of those warm lazy summer days that I decided to skip the social activities and play it low key around my green and quiet Amsterdam West. Having spontaneously logged on to Scruff, I got a few “woofs,” one of which looked attractive with his face, stats and the unlocked private album. Having explicitly agreed as to who was “into” what, we decided to go ahead with my coming over to his place.


Have you ever found yourself in a sexual encounter where one party works his ass off, or any other body part for that matter, and the other just sits there and enjoys the ride giving little to nothing in return? Now don’t get me wrong, this can be extremely hot and dandy if both parties agree beforehand on some sort of a master-slave role play, where one serves the other. 


Based on Gay Sex in the City column from Gay&Night magazine, published in Netherlands and  Belgium and the blog entries, the e-book is available for download on Amazon, AppleBooks, Kobo and Barnes and Noble


Misha M is a columnist and an author. In the blog he shares his sexual adventures, the lessons that he learns and the suggestions he has to give

most sexual things are not there to kill you but to please you!