Of the sexual practices that fall into the category of “kink” (things involving a bit more than fucking and sucking), in my experience, the pleasurable pain still seems to be a poorly explored territory by many. The wide array of the sex shop merchandise in De Wallen had a sales boost, I’m sure, after that silly Fifty Shades movie. But the unfortunate is now that since BDSM is suddenly “in,” anyone who gets his hands on a leather whip thinks that he is a “master.”

A recent date with a hunky Italian inspired me to elaborate on the subject. I had been fantasizing about the guy for several months seeing him dancing and cruising in different gay places around town. So it was during one of those outings that I saw him again, this time making a frequent eye contact. Pleasantly surprised realizing he was into me, I felt my heart beating faster when he authoritatively grabbed me from behind and pulled my ass towards his cock. In the mood for being submissive that night, I accepted the invitation to visit his place. 

First licking his boots, then his feet, I got horny for something harder when I saw a horse whip hanging on the wall of his bedroom. Having understood me perfectly, he grabbed the leather tool and put me on all fours. What I expected to stimulate me and make me desire for more, however, sadly turned the opposite way around as what I got was a kinky version of a hooligan attack. 


Hitting me too firmly from the very first punch he probably was too drunk or too stoned to realize how he was gradually turning me off. The bizarre effect was that my unprepared and unwarmed butt cheeks were rejecting each next coming punch instead of longing for it. Not wanting to finish the date too quickly due to the man’s inadequacy in the kink department, I suggested that we do the “normal” sex stuff instead, after which he fucked me for the rest of the date.

When you think of “pleasure through pain” you should realize that, just like our inner organ tissues, the human skin layer hosts a complicated network of sensory receptors that react in their own peculiar way to the outside stimuli. This means that, like with the anal sex, where the penis should first warm up the asshole to make it ready for hard pounding, you must (!) make the body well prepared to take a good lynching! Once I’ve written about the initial shock of someone’s dick inside my ass without any warm up that has killed my desire for sex for the rest of the night. Well, someone’s disposition to be whipped can be ruined just as successfully if you start punching the crap out of them without any build-up. What can make the matters worse is if the subject in question is in restraints, which renders him unable to get out of the situation. That is not to say that clueless hitting can also cause unwanted physical injuries. 

Discussing beforehand how the things will go always helps avoid misunderstandings and accidents! If he hasn’t specified his limits, the right thing to do is gradually build up the intensity with each punch. If he is ready for harder, you WILL know, and if you’re still not sure, just ask! If done right, the feeling is an incredible combination of the adrenaline rush and a strong massage, which feels amazingly relaxing both during and after the session. Remember, the point is giving someone pleasure, so if you hit it right, he may just be back for more!


October 1, 2015


When we score a hot person, be it outside or inside the bedroom, there is nothing unusual about wanting to impress them with the best moves we’ve got! It’s always fun during the play to not only observe the partner’s reaction but also to discover your own talents as you experiment to make it more interesting. And yet since showing your inventiveness is ...


Friday night. Club Church. (Z)onderbroek ("no pants") party. Mezzanine area. I’m leaning against the mirror wall of a busy upstairs, watching others go at it on benches, slings and couches. I make an eye contact with a handsome thirtysomething, who is slowly moving in my direction. A few gropes and smooches later, I complete a 180-degree turn ...


It is no revelation that the vast array of the products designed to stimulate, enhance or aid the intimate experience has been known to man since the man existed. The sales of the provocative clothing, objects looking like human body parts, body accessories, among many others, bring millions in revenue for the adult merchandise industry, which will never go out of business!


In 2006, AOL has released a database of search terms where it was shown that the most common word next to the word “fetish” was “feet.” And according to a fetish study from Bologna University, it was concluded that 47% of the respondents preferred feet and toes to other non-sexual objects of worship. Whether or not due to the fact ...


Based on Gay Sex in the City column from Gay&Night magazine, published in Netherlands and  Belgium and the blog entries, the e-book is available for download on Amazon, AppleBooks, Kobo and Barnes and Noble


Misha M is a columnist and an author. In the blog he shares his sexual adventures, the lessons that he learns and the suggestions he has to give

Now that BDSM is suddenly "in", anyone who gets his hands on a leather whip thinks that he is a master