In a recent study among the British youth between the ages of nineteen and twenty-five, 49% of the participants declared their sexuality as "other than heterosexual." Hearing how many people realize their homosexual tendencies well beyond the age of 25, I cannot help but assume that the other 51% effectively shrinks as people grow older. And if that's true, the general picture becomes consistent with the American biologist Alfred Kinsey’s study from 1940’s. The chart he created based on respondents’ sexual preferences from exclusively homo- to exclusively heterosexual is curiously evenly distributed!

Having enjoyed, for the most part, my numerous male-to-male encounters in the past, I have not so much as even entertained the thought of my member shoved inside a woman's mouth or my tongue tickling a clitoris! The scent of an excited penis, the taste of the male asshole, the touch of a hairy masculine body are just a few that I can name that make my body shiver and my mouth salivate. 

And yet it is with the same kind of excitement that I sometimes watch the “straight porn” and visit mixed fetish parties like Unleashed in Amsterdam a couple months ago! Every inch of the dance floor full of different ages, colors and body shapes in provocative outfits reeked sex as everyone flirted with everyone. The action in the play area was especially interesting as people acted upon their desires having left any sexual labels imposed by society outside the club. 


Threesomes, foursomes, swingers, master-slave couples all mingling with each other, some women played with other women and men with men! It was when I complimented a beautiful young heterosexual couple on their rubber outfits when both groped my body and sandwiched me in between. Having kissed the man first, I turned around to face the woman and decided to ask her to let me feel her pussy. Without any hesitation, she unzipped her black latex underwear to invite me in. Patient and cooperative, she guided me through the correct spots to stimulate as I surprisingly enjoyed the spongy texture of what I felt while kissing her pierced nipples. I did not get hard in the process, but then again, I did not like my first sexual experience with a man two decades ago either!

I am not entirely sure whether I will want to touch a pussy again – only time and occasion will tell. I am however certain, especially after my Unleashed experience, that the labels like "gay" or "straight" have rarely anything to do with actual sex! The amount of men (often with women nearby), for example, that make a lingering eye contact with me in public is far too great not to notice – if someone catches your interest, nothing betrays you more than your eyes! And that only reconfirms the Kinsey scale to me where the gap between 100% homo and 100% hetero is wide enough for a lot of play!


April 5, 2017

I did not like my first sexual experience with a man two decades ago either!


Sex can be both good and bad for you. Good, if you do it right: a boost in mood, restful sleep afterwards, a more-or-less lasting relationship. Bad, if you don’t: unpleasantly painful experience, embarrassing accidents, a disease! Sometimes it’s a matter of knowing what you are doing. And yet most of the time it’s about wanting to know what, or whom, you are doing!


“No Asians!,” “Black only!!!,” “Hairy Middle Eastern preferred,” etc. – sadly still a common occurrence when you read online profiles! I always like to tell a story about a guy from the Philippines, as Asian as they get, who, to my awkwardness, read a surprise on my face when I opened his underwear and saw a 20 cm, thick cock hiding in there.


Having arrived in the fabulous Kingdom of the Netherlands after more than a decade spent in the very conservative Manhattan, where staff in cruising bars can expel you for the “inappropriate” behavior or where the police can jail you for a blowjob in a park, I have felt quite some liberation of the universal accessibility to sex anytime anywhere. 


It’s been several months since I have uninstalled every hookup app from my iPhone. I decided that it was no longer worth it to spend my time and energy on something designed to make sex easy, but in reality results in permanent dissatisfaction! The strange chain reaction of “done, next” had consumed me ...


Based on Gay Sex in the City column from Gay&Night magazine, published in Netherlands and  Belgium and the blog entries, the e-book is available for download on Amazon, AppleBooks, Kobo and Barnes and Noble


Misha M is a columnist and an author. In the blog he shares his sexual adventures, the lessons that he learns and the suggestions he has to give