In the light of the recent witch-hunt, I cannot help but reflect on my own experiences to try to weigh in on the heavily publicized topic, known to the wide audience as #MeToo! Not giving it much significance initially – another sex scandal, another vile scum, another sucker victim (pun intended) – I sat back and watched the shit bubble explode when its stink somehow reached my own little personal space! The uneasy feeling has made me look back at the presented opportunities to participate in the real-life sexual charades, which I declined not believing in the shortcuts through the bedroom.
From the university, to entry-level jobs, to my later jobs, I have unambiguously been approached by the men who outranked me in the establishment hierarchy. The “accidental” touching, the invitations to their house, the turning of professional conversations into personal – all of that left very little room for second guessing as to what was implied for further!
When I had just turned the legal age of consent, I experienced first such advance. What came over me was actually a combination of feeling both shocked and excited at the same time! The thought of someone powerful interested in me gave me enough shrills to dream up various horny fantasies about what might happen should I choose to go for it in real life! The fastened heartbeat, the saliva on the back of my tongue, the goose bumps on my skin is something I could not help while seeing them in the professional setting or imagining them in my head. The temptation to reciprocate was all too great! And yet the concern, when I had scrutinized different scenarios and the consequences that might follow, had I chosen to give it a go-ahead, has outweighed the desire to participate. I realized that, should it end up turning ugly, the one with less leverage is more likely to lose. In the end, I decided to play the stupid/naïve card – the game was not worth my future, and therefore my time!
Young and horny, over the age of eighteen, I was nevertheless mature enough to think analytically and evaluate potential risks and possible outcomes, no matter the nature of a situation or circumstance. I was also perfectly aware of the fact that my person was protected by law should I be forced to do anything against my will.
Easy as it is to jump on the #MeToo wagon, what those women and men are actually confessing to is deliberately participating in the perverted sexual games because the prospect of being rich and famous was wonderfully worth opening that mouth or spreading those legs or giving that massage! It does not make the initiators any less vile, but as far as I understood, none of the “victims” was handcuffed or tied up, and the door to leave was never locked from the other side.
It is hard for me to find sympathy for those who have more money in the bank than me, bigger houses than my house, more admirers than I do, the ones who show off their designer clothes, diamond watches or sports cars. They ended up in the fairy tale they had pursued so hard!
The scary and the sad thing about this whole situation is the fact that nobody acknowledges the actual game losers – those who refused to participate! Though I am confident that the pure talent eventually gets acknowledged with time and perseverance, until it does, it will remain unseen and unknown – and that is what makes them the real victims!
December 21, 2017
The prospect of being rich and famous was wonderfully worth opening that mouth
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Based on Gay Sex in the City column from Gay&Night magazine, published in Netherlands and Belgium and the blog entries, the e-book is available for download on GooglePlay, AppleBooks, Kobo, Barnes & Noble and more
Misha M is a columnist and an author. In the blog he shares his sexual adventures, the lessons that he learns and the suggestions he has to give