59 percent of men worldwide have ended a sexual relationship because their partner was a bad kisser, or so research says, meaning it outweighs all other intimate factors combined! A scary statistic, but one that makes perfect sense to me. Unfortunately, I’ve frequently experienced that people manage to turn this sweet and simple, but sexy act into something downright disgusting.

On a fresh early spring day, not too long ago, I decided to make a sauna escape at NZ. Not only does it let my body completely relax, it also offers me a sizeable jar of eye candy to taste and behold! After a couple quick rounds through the spa’s dark hallways to inspect the place for any available meat, I walked into the hamman to loosen up my gym-tired musculature. In the twilight of the steam room, whose walls resonated the echos of slurping noises coming from its busy dark corners, I sat on a top shelf when a well-built, dirty-blond, semi-hairy animal “accidentally” bumped against my leg and sat next to me. Mutually touching each other’s feet, thighs and hands, our faces approached closer to each other for what I was hoping just as sexy and smooth of a mouth-to-mouth follow up. 

 

But instead of a sweet taste of his lips what I unfortunately got was a sloppy cake face smash gone wrong! Skipping every possible step before reaching the passionate culmination, the dude went for the jugular. . . to smite me, in the grossest of the ways! Every part of my face was nearly devoured in a most greedy fashion. The inside of my mouth felt like a rape victim of his omnipresent, unusually wet tongue. I was not able to breathe, escape, stop, or change anything as he was determined to go on and on! I put an end to it before that tongue started exploring me internally. Having detached my violated mouth with much difficulty from his, I wrapped the towel around my private parts and left the “crime” scene to take a cold shower!

Anatomically, our oral and nasal areas are slightly more complicated than our genitals. The wet and gentle surfaces, the taste and the smell receptors, among others, makes the whole thing more delicate than ass or dick, as they are actually designed to fulfill such vital functions as breathing or eating, to name a couple. So, no matter the situation (bedroom, darkroom, sauna, park) or the person (boyfriend, husband, fuck-buddy, one night stand), face-to-face can be just as intimate as, if not more intimate than, any face-to-cock, face-to-ass or ass-to-cock contact.

Like with any pleasant activity, sexual or not, kissing is a process! You don’t eat your delicious spaghetti in one huge bite, or drink your beer in one big gulp, just like you don’t start fucking a juicy ass without relaxing the hole first. No matter how excited you are, it’s always safe to start nice and easy. If done right, kissing can be one of the most amazing sexual experiences. Begin with a subtle taste of the lips. If the partner enjoys it, he will let you know by reciprocating and signaling you to go more intensely. Let the passion, very gradually, build up until you get to that “hot point.” So, pucker up and good luck!

PUCKER UP!

June 1, 2015

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Based on Gay Sex in the City column from Gay&Night magazine, published in Netherlands and  Belgium and the blog entries, the e-book is available for download on Amazon, AppleBooks, Kobo and Barnes and Noble

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Misha M is a columnist and an author. In the blog he shares his sexual adventures, the lessons that he learns and the suggestions he has to give

people manage to turn this sweet and simple, but sexy act into something downright disgusting