“Emotions are all we got!” That was the last phrase of Harvey Keitel’s character in Youth before he jumped from a balcony to his death betrayed by a bitch he had admired, played by Jane Fonda. 

The more I talk about the physical part of intimacy in my articles, the more I realize how much I must chip in my two cents about the big elephant in the room: that very favorite topic about which songs are composed, films are shot and books are written. The primal and unavoidable emotion the best of us sometimes hate to have! It makes us cry, it makes us laugh, it makes us move mountains, cross oceans. It makes us depressed, helpless, angry, brave. It awakens the worst in us, it awakens the best in us. . . and, more likely than not, all at the same time!

A creepy thought went through my head recently when a friend of mine told me how, in his opinion, ninety percent of people do not express their feelings to the person they like. Whether that scary percentage is true or not, it’s awful to realize how some choose to hide their emotions for the fear of being humiliated, heartbroken or inconvenienced. Being the cupid’s unassuming victim a long time ago in the past, I remember eating myself from the inside while being afraid to confess my feelings to one guy. 

 

He did reject me after I had finally found the courage to tell him – in fact, he stopped talking to me – and yet the devastating feeling that came after, and lingered for several months, paled in comparison with the self-loathing while I was being scared to approach him. Subconsciously, I had felt that that very self-loathing would have lingered for much longer had I chosen to be a coward and not act according to how I felt.

Rejection is not a picnic, and the more you like a person the longer your heart will remain broken if the feelings are unrequited. And yet according to research “not expressing how I felt for someone” scores very high with old people when asked if they regretted anything from their past. Thinking that it would be the end of the world if the object of admiration does not respond positively, many settle for peace and comfort of living in a lie, self-hatred and the hatred for others! Shortsighted, some refuse to see the strength in confronting their weakness. 

The only way out is through, psychologists say when they talk about overcoming fear in general. So when we take into account the most basic feeling there is, putting a positive energy into it enables us to improve and ultimately love ourselves enough to not be broken by a failed romance. And exactly that self-improvement was the biggest and the best product of my past heartbreaks, which I actually should be thankful for, as I would not be the person that I am today!

THE WEAKNESS OF LOVE

August 1, 2016

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many settle for peace and comfort of living in a lie, self-hatred and the hatred for others!