It seems like when someone uses the word “ugly” for another person, oftentimes it’s meant to indicate how unattracted they are towards that person’s physical features. Face, eyes, nose, mouth, body shape, etc. is sufficient ground for dismissal should we decide it does not agree with our taste. And although I do not see anything abnormal about having things that give you the initial hard-on or soft-on, it takes me a bit deeper analysis of a person to discard them into the “ugly” trash can, if that’s where they belong!

Stupid as it is to use dismissive language to single out the things that people have little control of, it is actually people’s conscious choices that ultimately define their attractiveness, or a lack thereof. A scene from a romantic comedy Friends With Kids comes to mind where a sexy Megan Fox’s character was branded butt-ugly because of a self-centered cunt she eventually turned out to be! 

Beauty comes from within is something I must remind myself of time and again looking back at the unfortunate experiences with the hideous people whom I had initially found pretty. 


Delicate facial features, a well built body or a sharp personal style were never in fact entirely the trap I had stupidly fallen into. It was actually their engaging personality, wits and good manners that I had presumed completed the package as I let my emotions ride the rollercoaster full of nauseating turns! Dismissive and disrespectful in their subsequent actions, well into the acquaintance, they contradicted the well-crafted personal image they made me buy. The “complete package” starts mildly stinking upon every failed text or failed meeting, and completely explodes with shit when they start making nasty remarks, attempt to humiliate, or, worse yet, take their anger out on you for no good reason! 

Ugly is a choice: you choose to wear an unflattering haircut, you choose to put on ill-fitting clothes, you choose not to cut those nails! The lucky part for those with a bad sense of aesthetics is that it’s easy to see, and might be easy to correct! It is however those ugly on the inside I am more concerned about: arrogance and self-importance frequently blocks the ability to detect own flaws and improve on them. Everything about you will physically look ugly as long as you act ugly. Kindness, vulnerability and humility is what eventually wins people over, and until you realize that, you will continue being ugly!


February 26, 2017

Everything about you will physically look ugly as long as you act ugly


It’s been several months since I have uninstalled every hookup app from my iPhone. I decided that it was no longer worth it to spend my time and energy on something designed to make sex easy, but in reality results in permanent dissatisfaction! The strange chain reaction of “done, next” had consumed me as it became addictive to scroll through ...


Many complain about their looks but none about their brains! 

I had to suppress my laughter recently when a cute guy I made out with said to me that his arms could never grow as big as mine. Far from being a bodybuilder type, and neither do I strive to be, I have to say that about half a decade ago I had the same kind of thinking ...


Have you ever found yourself in a sexual encounter where one party works his ass off, or any other body part for that matter, and the other just sits there and enjoys the ride giving little to nothing in return? Now don’t get me wrong, this can be extremely hot and dandy if both parties agree beforehand on some sort of a master-slave role play, where one serves the other...


Of all the tempting situations to get involved with someone intimately, workplace seems to be one of the more popular ones! It is not uncommon that communicating with someone on a regular basis in a familiar environment can help spark a more personal interest. Being related by similar backgrounds and connected with the same work activities ...


Based on Gay Sex in the City column from Gay&Night magazine, published in Netherlands and  Belgium and the blog entries, the e-book is available for download on Amazon, AppleBooks, Kobo and Barnes and Noble


Misha M is a columnist and an author. In the blog he shares his sexual adventures, the lessons that he learns and the suggestions he has to give